Friday, March 07, 2008

Diamond Taylor commits to Wisconsin, avalanche of horrible wordplay follows


Evidently Chicago-area high schooler Diamond Taylor liked the idea of being a Big Ten champ, since today he verbally committed to becoming the second member of the Badgers' 2009 recruiting class. Taylor is a 6'4" string bean of a kid (165 pounds!!!) who some believe might be the best player in Chicagoland in the Class of 2009. That kid's going to have to visit Giordano's nightly till he graduates to bulk up for the college game. He had offers from Arizona State, Bradley, Illinois, Iowa, Marquette, Northern Illinois, Notre Dame, and Southern Illinois, as the JSOnline blog states, so apparently a lot of people saw potential in the kid. Welcome aboard! Madison's no South Bend or Carbondale, but we think it's a nice place to live.

While it's fun that another Taylor will join the line that Kammron started and Jordan will continue next year, with a first name like Diamond we internet dolts are all but obligated to line up our shots and fire away. BadgerCentric is first out of the gate with "The members of the basketball program will be getting rings for their latest Big Ten championship, and now it appears they'll be getting the Diamond to go with it." Sigh. Hoops Marinara declares the kid a Diamond in the Rough, naturally. The guys at the Wisconsin Sports Bar resist the temptation but commenter Dave in Milwaukee is hoping that Diamond won't get cut. Scout declares Diamond to be of high value.

What else can do with this?

  • Diamond to suit up in red

  • UW acquires Diamond; still no plans to resurrect baseball program

  • Chicago, city with a lump of coal up its ass, produces Diamond for Wisconsin

  • Crazy Diamond to shine on at Kohl Center

  • Diamond has moment of clarity, commits to UW

  • Badgers Headed to the Future with Diamond I really wanted to work in a "Hot August Night" or "Sweet Caroline" reference here, but you've got to know your limits ...

  • Badgers score Diamond for '09, diamond scores 10 on Mohs scale What? WHAT?


  • And it goes on. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Diamond Joe Quimby? Lou Diamond Phillips? Blood diamond? Hope Diamond? It's gonna get so old that it'll be new again by the time the kid gets to campus!